To get a feel for the mental instability that caused me so much pain, I think analyzing a pastoral care episode for Rev. Michael Dunlap would lay the groundwork for understanding the lay of the land in laity land, and our unease.
So, one of Michael’s Parishioner’s, me, on Dec. 6, 2021, was assaulted by someone I knew outside my house with a metal pole about a yard and a half long. Hit 4 times on the arm and back. Struggling with this pain, I went in the house and saw Bill Conway’s number on the front of my phone. Maybe it is a sign, so I called him, and he agreed to come over to provide aid and comfort for me.
But he talked to my assailant first, outside, upon arrival, and by the time he met me, was telling me that my assailant was a nice guy, and I should treat him better.
My assailant had called the police before he assaulted me, but waited until they were gone to assault me. The police had ordered me and family to stay out of my assailant’s way so he could get his things out of our house. I knew many of my things were being moved out hidden in his things, but could do nothing. My wife, Jasini, called the police again, but when they returned, they only interviewed my assailant and left.
With Bill there, and my stress increasing at my abandonment, Jasini and I agreed to go to the police station to get them to do something. We were to go in separate cars, and I left first.
I had a long wait at the police station, but Jasini didn’t arrive until almost when the wait was over. She said she would explain why after we talked to the police, didn’t want to distract me.
The police seemed inconvincible, until Jasini showed them pictures of my injuries, then they took pictures and said a report would be filed. At this point Jasini explained her delay Bill had blocked the exit to our living room and detained her in our own household while he tried to convince her of the error of our ways. Bill had denied Jasini her personal agency in her own house and violated my house and the sanctity of our home.
Jasini was wise to not tell me until after we were out of the Police station. I went and wrote a letter to the church and pastor telling about the crisis at our place, and how Jasini had been molested by Bill, detained and deprived of her personal agency. “I know it isn’t a very Christian way to think, but to help you understand what I am struggling with, I just feel that someone who molests and detains my wife in her own head should have his block knocked off. I needed counsel, comfort and peace. Because not only had Bill done what I described, but he also used his truck to transport my boarder’s stuff, and the stuff my boarder stole from me, away from my house. He made himself an accessory to the theft of our property.
Knowing all these things that had happened, and the stressful situation we were experiencing, Rev, Dunlap wasted no time trying to comfort or counsel me. “Did you mean it about feeling like knocking Bill’s block off. I am going to have to call the police on you for such violence.”
Look at the long list of violent events against me and Jasini detailed above. None of those gave him a moment’s pause. But he could threaten and try to intimidate me by saying he might report me to the police for how I feel.
Bill’s wife Suzy started saying there were people at the church afraid of me. She and Pastor Michael tried to intimidate me to not come to church on Sunday and sing in the Extravaganza. I went to the Music Director Jonathan Ray and told him I wanted to be there to sing but I would do as he advised and hold nothing against him if he said no. He admitted to being advised to keep me away, but after contemplating the situation told me to go ahead and sing.
I came and sang, and it was a great program. But it was one of the last times I attended church. I repeatedly told everyone that Avondale United Methodist Church was no longer a safe place for me. Not that anyone meant me any harm (or so I thought, later installments of this blog series will show I was wrong on that), but that there were people at AUMC who knew what was right to be done to me, and would do it given the chance, even if it violated every one of my civil rights. For nine months I waited around in limbo for my rights to be violated. I never foresaw the lies, deceit, and coercion on Pastor Dunlap’s part (among others) that would conclude those nine months of waiting.
At The Rainbow 