Wifely Emasculation

I know this post is going to get accused of sexism, or dismissed as sexist, but that is no reason not to write it.

I have seen up close and personal two examples of wives who thought they were protecting their husbands, but were actually emasculating them. Both acted out of fear at the failing health of their husbands, and so committed attrocious wrongs against Jasini and myself, justified by protecting their husbands.

In the most recent of these cases, the wife ended up wailing like a harpy while her husband tried to actually talk and resolve the issue with me, until he said “I can’t do anything with them (his wife and granddaughter) carrying on like that.” Which is of course what both of them intended.

In both cases, Jasini and I were attempting to contact the other parties to bring about peace and reconciliation. In the one detailed somewhat above, the wife preempted the husband’s response, interrupted him when he tried, and physically and audibly interferred in his attempts to do what he felt was right, all to “protect” him.

In the second case, which occured a couple of years earlier, the wife started a harrassment and intimidation campaign against me at the church we were then attending, threatening me not to return to church because “people are afraid of you.” This after I had been physically assaulted and injured by someone at my home, unrelated to the church, and when her husband had agreed to come over to help me in my crisis, instead detained my wife in her own house and refused to allow her to exercise her own personal agency to leave. Because I objected to her husband’s behaviour I made “people afraid of me,” (fueled by said wife) and not one person expressed any compassion or concern for the indignity and affront done to Jasini, and would pretend nothing was said if I ever mentioned the event. As if I was insane and mentioning a hallucination I had had. The wife even went so far as to suggest I was mentally unstable.

But what happened to Jasini was no hallucination to her, and to be treated as invisible, while I became persona non grata, a deep wound and injury to Jasini that has yet to be acknowledged.

In both these cases, if the wives had just stayed out of the way, I will even say stayed in their place, their husbands would have soon led us all to reconciliation, forgiveness and peace. But “The female of the species is more deadlier than the male”, and has poisoned both our relationships with them, and ultimately, their relationships with their husbands. They may never realize just how much they lost by emasculating their husbands so, but I do. Their fear, and lack of compassion and forgiveness, will haunt them to their graves if they don’t act before they or their husbands die.

I find no solace in that last statement, but deep sorrow. Yet now I have nothing to do but wait, and Never Forget, but continue to hope and pray that the God of all Grace might break through their hardness of heart to repent, so that He may restore what they have stolen from themselves and their husbands.