Father’s Day Depression

I have had some great ups and downs recently. My Birthday is May 1, and before it I got inklings that my best friend was contemplating a special birthday present. I told him not to over do it, that just being there was the most important thing for me, to have him as a friend.

Yet he got me a used Pixel 2XL, and I loved that phone as the expression of thought and generosity that it was — and managed to fracture the glass within the first week when it jumped out of my shirt pocket on the one time I had to place it there instead of the pants. I was heartbroken, and plans were made to get it repaired when cash came along, plans derailed by later events.

I cant remember whether it was before or after Mother’s day that that happened. My best friend, who was living with us at the time, went all out to pamper and fee Betsy and us to make her Mother’s day special.

But by Father’s Day, the whole world has changed. That same best friend has moved out, and he, along with others I once counted true, are branding me with terrible names, while justifying the mean things they do to me by the evil things I have allegedly done to them.

It has been 11 days since everything erupted.

In that time things have devolved to my being told:

Taylor Louchart:

I’d really like to avoid small claims court or making me your enemy Johnathan. That’s not a threat. I’m just letting you know that I won’t let you bully me around. You’re not a good person and I will let any one who ask me know how deplorable your character really is. I’ll give you time to think about things but I will be expecting at least a partial payment with in a week. In the mean time, do us all a favor and go look in the mirror. Take a good hard look at the monster you’ve become and figure out how to make yourself a decent human being again.

Jennifer Harris:

Take a look in the mirror before you go casting stones into unknown waters in efforts to mask your shortcomings. Maybe when you accept responsibility for your actions and realize how inappropriate they have been, you and Jordan can begin to repair the damage and work to rebuild your friendship.

Jordan Hatch:

Oh keep telling yourself that Jonathan keep fucking telling yourself that… all this is excuses to fucking take any responsibility for your own fucking actions you’re grown man to take fucking responsibility for your actions you were fucking crazy you’re acting like a crazy person you are still acting crazy. And I am done. I’m blocking you. Goodbye.

I have continually emphasized my commitment to the friendship, with every challenge to his behavior, and every expression of apology to him. Jordan, on the other hand, has only once expressed his commitment to the relationship, and never once any regret for anything he has done, nor any acceptance of my apologies for anything I have done. As you can see, he isn’t doing anything but casting aspersions on me. And this after I had just said, I over reacted, I apologize, but I was reacting to this (listing events), and I would really appreciate understanding why you did these.

I am the monster, yet I am always the one talking about apologies, forgiveness, mercy, reconciliation. They are the ones talking about my being a monster. I have been doing a lot of mirror gazing, but to suggest that they could also check the mirror is apparently an insult worthy of more castigation of me. I am always the one looking for a way around things. They don’t express this.

I guess I must be one of the monsters from Monster’s Inc. Am I more like Sully or Mike Wazowski? (discussion in the background) I guess the decision here is somewhat unanimous: I am the guy who keeps getting the sock stuck to him. I do seem to be having his type of luck.

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