An important event occurred Dec. 6, 2021 that no matter how many times we tried to discuss it the past 9 months, every time it gets mentioned everyone else besides us totally ignores us as if we had said nothing, as if Betsy was invisible. Below is a conversation Betsy had with Pastor Michael Dunlap yesterday trying one more time to gain acknowledgement of the injustice done to her on that date. Her words have orange highlight and Michael’s have gray. See if you can understand what is being said by both people, and if they make sense.
I do know that is was completely disheartening to listen in on that phone call yesterday, and have everyone totally ignore it, when Jonathan said that once again. As if I was not real, or not important.
Please seek some mental help for your husband. Disruptions in our worship service will not be tolerated.
As he has told you multiple times, he has done so. Well before this came up.
I simply cannot believe that anyone would ever do that?
It is senseless and inexcuseable.
And once again you are acting like I am not here, I am not real.
I am absolutely here and I am telling you that disruptions in our worship service will not be tolerated. Do you understand?
That is not the conversation I am having. I understand. But treating me like I’m not real does not help.
What can I do to help you?
Listen to what I’m saying and respond to that.
I am here, focused on you.
What can I do for you?
I don’t know what crime you think occurred. But you remember at the time, we were dealing with the police ignoring our complaint that Greg had beaten Jonathan with a metal rod and was stealing our stuff.
Who is Greg?
I did not have enough spoons at the time to call the police for this little matter.
And they would have laughed at me anyway.
Did you even listen the day that Jonathan and I came into your office?
But here’s the thing Betsy … I am a pastor and I’m not trained to that you really really need to talk to law-enforcement about. I am trained in theology and spiritual concerns. Does that make sense?
Greg had been our boarder, he walked out with our stuff, and hit Jonathan with a metal rod.
I did listen. And I’m here for you. And both of you have done nothing but berate me for it.
What assault am I asking you to deal with?
And I simply will not be treated this way.
What can I do for you?
What are you asking me to do with Greg?
Where did you get the idea that I was?
What may I do to help you?
It was Bill Conaway that trapped me in the living room.
I’ve told you three times already this morning.
This in a criminal matter. You must file a police report if you have been assaulted!
I have told you that many times already
Would you like me to call 911
What assault are we talking about?
This is not a police matter.
You said you were assaulted by one of our church members in your living room
You must contact the police if you have been assaulted
I am here for you in anyway that I can be, but I cannot assist with any type of legal matters. Is that OK?
No one is asking you to assist in legal matters.
And you know perfectly well that calling 911 for something that happened 9 months ago is a mis-use of resources.
And being trapped in the living room does not constitute an assault.
Not a legal one, anyway.
I see what’s going on. It’s the man/woman type of conversation.
I am asking for empathy, you are trying to solve a problem.
The problem was solved long ago, I still want empathy.
I told you multiple times that I needed to be listened to, and you kept trying to tell me that I needed to call the police.
Like they would listen to me either.
I don’t want someone to bring up the topic and have everyone else just talk over it as if it never happened, and that the person that it happened to doesn’t matter, does not exist.
OK. I understand. I am here for you, and will gladly listen.
Would that be most helpful for your right now?
Are you willing to apologize to me?
Of course I am. I am very sorry for anything I’ve done to hurt you. Would you like a written apology or in person, also?
Do you understand what I’m asking for an apology for?
Not really, but I want to extend my apologies. Are you willing to share what I’ve done?
As I have said repeatedly, you have not been listening to me. I keep saying, “I’m concerned about X.” You reply, “You need to do orange, and I’m not equipped to handle 17.”
Actually, considering the liie filled letter we have just received from the church, forget it.
What did we lie about?
For one thing, Jonathan told you repeatedly that he is currently seeing a counselor. As did I. Your letter says that he said he has “previously” seeing one. And Jonathan has not threatened anyone. He has received threats. I was sitting right here. He did say that he was getting help.
Ok, I missed that. Whom is he seeing? We just need proof and he can come back if he wants.
We asked him yesterday but he just went on and on and on about other stuff.
We understand that but interruptions in the worship service will absolutely not be tolerated and current Documentation of therapy must be received. This is an order from our attorney.
He should know his behavior is entirely unacceptable.
And I told Judy Jensen that when I was trying to get a phone number from her and she kept asking me rude personal questions.
I see, threatening someone in service is fine, as long as its quiet.
Judy Jensen didn’t talk to you yesterday.
Judy Everly did.
Your claims are absolutely preposterous. This communication will cease. You are always welcome to make an appointment with me.
Neither one talked to me directly yesterday, And I never said it was.
(Note: I intended these toi follow the events of Aug. 7 more closely. But I hAVE BEEN IN THE HOSSsP.ITAL. When Emathy could have done the most good Michael DunlAP Instead stood up for the dignity of HIS service over the empathy OF Christ and proved Betsy right. He Has no gift of pastoral care. He is a misogynist. The least defense of my wife I can do Is call a spade a spade.